PENSIONER GIVEN CRIMINAL'S NIGHTMARE PACKAGE IN DREAM CHIP MIX-UP

MELBOURNE — An elderly iCue brain chip customer has been left irate after the company mistakenly changed his remote thoughts package. Mr. Chaucer, a retired landscaper residing on William Street in Victoria, had subscribed to the Designer Night Neon package, which guaranteed him his choice of minute-by-minute scripted dreams five nights a week.

The alteration only came to light when, on Tuesday last week, Mr. Chaucer expected the scheduled six-and-a-half hours with his childhood puppy but was met with brutal scenes of crime and violence.

The confusion was later found to have arisen because Mr. Chaucer shares the same first and last name with a former customer of the service named Geoffrey Chaucer.

The latter Chaucer, nicknamed Chaucer the Torturer, has been in prison for six years. He was found guilty of trafficking in AI entities for use in holographic shooting experiences and will only be eligible for parole in nine years.

iCue spokeswoman Sandra Cloak released this statement to Prompt Update News:

“We have expressed our sympathies to Mr. Chaucer and given him a complimentary one-month trial of 16k Premium Nightventure Deluxe.”

A source at iCue who has chosen to remain anonymous claims the mix-up was a result of customer re-targeting campaigns. These are a standard practice for dream personalisation companies and involve giving lapsed customers unexpected nights of their most stimulating dreams in hopes of enticing them to resubscribe.

Asked about his plans for the two extra nights of dreams his new, albeit time-limited, package allows him, Mr Chaucer said, “I can’t say. I never imagined myself as a seven-night custom dreams kind of guy. I mean, I’m kind of a bogan, proud of it, too. I’ve heard there’s some sweet stuff in the catalogue.”